I have several things to be happy about right now. I start a new temporary job on Monday that is only 6 miles from my house. No driving on the freeway, just backroads. I didn't like having to go in for drug screening, but it made the employer happy.
I've made my oldest daughter happy and speechless. I've resisted changing when I celebrate Christmas with my family because I love Christmas morning with my grandkids. Well, this year Jenny was put into a very stressful situation and my mother's instinct took over and decided it was better to make the change this year than to have my daughter strung out to her last thread. When I asked Jenny what she thought about celebrating Christmas after the grandkids Christmas program at church on December 20, there was dead air on the other end of the phone. Well, I said . . . Jenny said she didn't know what to say but I could tell it really made a difference for her. I don't think I was really against making changes in how my family celebrates Christmas, I think I just wanted it to be my idea when I was ready. This year, I'm ready. I've written a letter to Santa Claus asking him to please fill my grandchildren's stockings 5 days early. I think he's sending his special elf, Ralph.
I'm making myself happy by entertaining quite a bit this weekend. It all starts tomorrow night at OES where Bruce and I serve refreshments after the meeting. More people will be at this meeting as it is the Grand Family visit. Several people have asked what I am serving but I'm not telling. Next up is the neighborhood Christmas Party on Saturday morning. Ten ladies from the neighborhood (or in some cases, who used to live in the neighborhood) arrive at 10 AM for a light breakfast and exchanging token gifts (usually something Christmas). After everyone has enjoyed listening to music, chatting and opening a fun gift, they leave around noon. Then I'm off and running to get things ready for the next party which is on Sunday afternoon. There's appetizers to make, beverages to get cold and dishes to get ready. Come Sunday, I'm dressed in my holiday best ready for my guests to arrive (about an hour into the Vikings game). Entertaining this way is easy since you really only have to clean the house once, get it decorated (which you can then enjoy for the entire month of December) and be busy for one weekend instead of little bits here and there.
I love making people happy. It heals my heart at this time of year. I've lost several family members during the holidays so making others happy helps me get through. I'm glad I could make Jenny happy this year. It has been a hard one for her and won't get much better until next summer when John returns. All I can say is Happy Holidays, strike that, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
OUT OF A JOB
I've been out of a job now for 3 1/2 months. I really hate it!
Money issues have reared their ugly heads. I've applied for 41 jobs without receiving any callbacks what so ever. I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning; and, when I do, I spend a couple of hours on the computer looking for jobs to apply to.
The depression I've suffered with for several years is sinking deeper and I don't like it. I'm not sure what to do about it. I've never had this much trouble finding a job. I could work a temporary job for a couple of weeks and the company would want to hire me. Now I can't even get a company to look at me. I don't have a degree but I do have years and years of experience.
Do I move on to a different "career"? Should I resurrect my business and go back to making parties and wedding days special for others? I'm at a loss and I'm not looking forward to the holidays the way I usually do. Being out of a job really sucks! I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
Money issues have reared their ugly heads. I've applied for 41 jobs without receiving any callbacks what so ever. I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning; and, when I do, I spend a couple of hours on the computer looking for jobs to apply to.
The depression I've suffered with for several years is sinking deeper and I don't like it. I'm not sure what to do about it. I've never had this much trouble finding a job. I could work a temporary job for a couple of weeks and the company would want to hire me. Now I can't even get a company to look at me. I don't have a degree but I do have years and years of experience.
Do I move on to a different "career"? Should I resurrect my business and go back to making parties and wedding days special for others? I'm at a loss and I'm not looking forward to the holidays the way I usually do. Being out of a job really sucks! I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
CHLOE
I get to this time of year and all my thoughts are about Chloe. You see, I'm working on the annual fundraiser for the organization that is her namesake, The Chloe T. Foundation. I wonder if she is proud of what we have been able to accomplish. Does she smile every time a child gets one of our stuffed animals? I miss her terribly but feel my purpose in life is to work on the foundation. Her mission while here was to make us realize how the kids feel at the hospital and to know there are other parents like hers who feel so helpless when their child is hospitalized.
As I sit here, I'm looking at her picture near Halloween. She is dressed in a yellow duck costume looking up at mom and I can all but hear her say with her eyes, "Gest, Mom, did you have to put in a duck suit?" I needed a break from working on the fundraiser and thought writing about Chloe might help. It does.
Chloe - Wherever you are, please know how much I love you, miss you and am happy you are free to soar with the eagles in your pretty, white wings. Freedom to do the things you couldn't here on earth. Love, Nana
As I sit here, I'm looking at her picture near Halloween. She is dressed in a yellow duck costume looking up at mom and I can all but hear her say with her eyes, "Gest, Mom, did you have to put in a duck suit?" I needed a break from working on the fundraiser and thought writing about Chloe might help. It does.
Chloe - Wherever you are, please know how much I love you, miss you and am happy you are free to soar with the eagles in your pretty, white wings. Freedom to do the things you couldn't here on earth. Love, Nana
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
THE WORD CANCER
The word cancer strikes the fear in most everyone. For me, the word left me in a state of wonder. It all started when Bruce found a lump in his testicle. He said it felt different than the other side. He put off going to the doctor so he could get through being Grand Commander for the state of MN. He finally allowed me to call and make a doctor appointment for him. From there the month of august whizzed by.
Upon seeing the doctor, he was immediately sent to have an ultrasound. By the time he got home from that, the phone was ringing as he walked in the house and was told he had an appointment with a urologist in half an hour. So out the door he went to Burnsville. Two days later he was scheduled for surgery on August 7.
The morning of August 7 was a little chilly and I decided I needed to wear jeans if I was going to be sitting in a hospital all day. We had to be there at 10:45 AM for 12:15 PM surgery. A few minutes after we arrived, Bruce was called upstairs to be prepped for surgery. I would be paged when he was ready. I could sit with him until they took him into surgery. Well, 12:15 came and went as did 1:15. Apparently, Dr. Borgen was running a bit late. Finally, at 2 PM Bruce walked to the operating room and I went downstairs to wait. I would be paged again when the surgery was done and Dr. Borgen would come out to talk to me.
The doctor walked in the room and I listened very intently. He described something called a seminoma. It is one type of testicular cancer. He explained it is 97% curable which was a song to my ears. But, I still had to tell Bruce. I went back downstairs until Bruce was ready to come out of the recovery room. I called the girls and told them their dad was out of surgery. They wanted to know what was found but I told them I needed to let Dad know first since it was all about him. I was paged again and had the task of telling my husband of 36 years that he did in fact have testicular cancer.
There weren't the tears or the shock most people experience when told they have cancer. I think we both already knew. He laid there eating his cookies and drinking his pop. He would still have to talk down the hall for the nurse before they would allow him to leave. He wanted to rest a bit so I went to make a couple of phone calls. One was to a close friend of ours and the other to Bruce's brother. When I got back, Bruce was ready to get dressed and be on his way home. Since he has had several surgeries during our marriage, he asked me if I wasn't tired of having to help him get dressed all the time. No, I said, it's just part of the package.
We got home and since Leanna was visiting, she had made dinner for us. Afterwards, she sat on the couch next to her dad as he told her the diagnosis. She quietly put her head on his shoulder and in the mirror I could see the tears in her eyes. I'm so glad she was visiting because I don't think I could have told her over the phone.
In the four weeks since the surgery, Bruce has had a followup visit with Dr. Borgen, a visit to a radiation therapy doctor and an oncologist. These last two doctors explained the benefits of having radiation or having chemo. Over Labor Day weekend Bruce would have to make a decision as to which treatment he wanted to have. If he does nothing, the odds of the cancer coming back is 20%, if he has radiation the odds are better at 5% and with chemo the odds are the best at only 1.8%. He researched with internet with help of Jenny.
Last night he told me to call the doctor and arrange for the chemo. He should be able to have the first treatment on Friday and then a second treatment three weeks later. I know he is scared. I am too. But, we have to believe we are going through this for a reason. We may find out the reason and we may not, but we have to trust God not to give us more than we can handle.
Yes, the word cancer can strike fear in a person. In us it brought an answer to many questions. We are now ready to face the future, put things in perspective and move on with our lives. I love you Bruce Brendal - you are my life, my love and my world.
Upon seeing the doctor, he was immediately sent to have an ultrasound. By the time he got home from that, the phone was ringing as he walked in the house and was told he had an appointment with a urologist in half an hour. So out the door he went to Burnsville. Two days later he was scheduled for surgery on August 7.
The morning of August 7 was a little chilly and I decided I needed to wear jeans if I was going to be sitting in a hospital all day. We had to be there at 10:45 AM for 12:15 PM surgery. A few minutes after we arrived, Bruce was called upstairs to be prepped for surgery. I would be paged when he was ready. I could sit with him until they took him into surgery. Well, 12:15 came and went as did 1:15. Apparently, Dr. Borgen was running a bit late. Finally, at 2 PM Bruce walked to the operating room and I went downstairs to wait. I would be paged again when the surgery was done and Dr. Borgen would come out to talk to me.
The doctor walked in the room and I listened very intently. He described something called a seminoma. It is one type of testicular cancer. He explained it is 97% curable which was a song to my ears. But, I still had to tell Bruce. I went back downstairs until Bruce was ready to come out of the recovery room. I called the girls and told them their dad was out of surgery. They wanted to know what was found but I told them I needed to let Dad know first since it was all about him. I was paged again and had the task of telling my husband of 36 years that he did in fact have testicular cancer.
There weren't the tears or the shock most people experience when told they have cancer. I think we both already knew. He laid there eating his cookies and drinking his pop. He would still have to talk down the hall for the nurse before they would allow him to leave. He wanted to rest a bit so I went to make a couple of phone calls. One was to a close friend of ours and the other to Bruce's brother. When I got back, Bruce was ready to get dressed and be on his way home. Since he has had several surgeries during our marriage, he asked me if I wasn't tired of having to help him get dressed all the time. No, I said, it's just part of the package.
We got home and since Leanna was visiting, she had made dinner for us. Afterwards, she sat on the couch next to her dad as he told her the diagnosis. She quietly put her head on his shoulder and in the mirror I could see the tears in her eyes. I'm so glad she was visiting because I don't think I could have told her over the phone.
In the four weeks since the surgery, Bruce has had a followup visit with Dr. Borgen, a visit to a radiation therapy doctor and an oncologist. These last two doctors explained the benefits of having radiation or having chemo. Over Labor Day weekend Bruce would have to make a decision as to which treatment he wanted to have. If he does nothing, the odds of the cancer coming back is 20%, if he has radiation the odds are better at 5% and with chemo the odds are the best at only 1.8%. He researched with internet with help of Jenny.
Last night he told me to call the doctor and arrange for the chemo. He should be able to have the first treatment on Friday and then a second treatment three weeks later. I know he is scared. I am too. But, we have to believe we are going through this for a reason. We may find out the reason and we may not, but we have to trust God not to give us more than we can handle.
Yes, the word cancer can strike fear in a person. In us it brought an answer to many questions. We are now ready to face the future, put things in perspective and move on with our lives. I love you Bruce Brendal - you are my life, my love and my world.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
SAYING GOODBYE
Saying goodbye to anyone is hard but when it's your daughter and her family, it is especially hard. As much as I want her to live in MN, I know her heart is still in Houston. She likes the warmer weather, has a great in-law family and loves the culture.
This is the daughter I always knew would be the one to move away and out of MN. It doesn't make it any easier but it does help having known this. Even though I cry when they leave here or I leave Houston, I know she is happy.
They've been gone on 7 hours but I already miss the little voices in the morning asking for breakfast. I enjoyed helping them get their cereal or yogurt and granola. They eat healthy and that is something I can learn from them. Their sugar intake is limited, the eat healthy snacks and play hard.
I have a message for each of the Suarez family members:
Maddie - Do well in school. Listen to your teachers. Pay attention. Make new friends and learn lots! You and I will start to write real letters to each other. I think that will be fun and a way for us to stay connected. You are a beautiful young lady and I love you very much.
Xavier - Listen to your Mommy and Daddy. They can teach you lots of cool things so that you will be ready to go to kindergarten next year. Work really hard at being a good boy at the table and sit on your tushie like a big boy. Play, build, ride, blow bubbles, color and do lots of fun things. You look so much like your mommy and you do many of the same things she did. Remember you are a special little boy and I love you very much.
Stacy - Be a good daddy to your children. You have done a great job so far and have really good kids. Do well in your job. Support Leanna in all of her doings whether it be taking care of the kids, working outside the home or going to school. She is a treasure in your life but she will always still be my little girl. Take good care of her. Bring her to MN often.
Leanna - You will always be my little girl just as your sister is. I miss you when you are not here even though we talk often on the phone. It isn't the same because I can't just call you up and ask you to meet me at the mall, come over for dinner or chat over a drink. I want you to do well in whatever profession you choose. I want you to do well in school but at the same time enjoy what you are learning. I want to believe you will live in MN again but I think your heart is in the warmer climes of the US. If you and your family find your way back to MN at some point in your life, you will be welcomed with open arms and surrounded by a family that loves you and cares about you very much. I love you.
Yep, saying goodbye is really hard to do but sometimes it is the best thing you can do. Goodbye Leanna and family. Have a safe trip home. We will see you in the fall and we will have to say goodbye again.
This is the daughter I always knew would be the one to move away and out of MN. It doesn't make it any easier but it does help having known this. Even though I cry when they leave here or I leave Houston, I know she is happy.
They've been gone on 7 hours but I already miss the little voices in the morning asking for breakfast. I enjoyed helping them get their cereal or yogurt and granola. They eat healthy and that is something I can learn from them. Their sugar intake is limited, the eat healthy snacks and play hard.
I have a message for each of the Suarez family members:
Maddie - Do well in school. Listen to your teachers. Pay attention. Make new friends and learn lots! You and I will start to write real letters to each other. I think that will be fun and a way for us to stay connected. You are a beautiful young lady and I love you very much.
Xavier - Listen to your Mommy and Daddy. They can teach you lots of cool things so that you will be ready to go to kindergarten next year. Work really hard at being a good boy at the table and sit on your tushie like a big boy. Play, build, ride, blow bubbles, color and do lots of fun things. You look so much like your mommy and you do many of the same things she did. Remember you are a special little boy and I love you very much.
Stacy - Be a good daddy to your children. You have done a great job so far and have really good kids. Do well in your job. Support Leanna in all of her doings whether it be taking care of the kids, working outside the home or going to school. She is a treasure in your life but she will always still be my little girl. Take good care of her. Bring her to MN often.
Leanna - You will always be my little girl just as your sister is. I miss you when you are not here even though we talk often on the phone. It isn't the same because I can't just call you up and ask you to meet me at the mall, come over for dinner or chat over a drink. I want you to do well in whatever profession you choose. I want you to do well in school but at the same time enjoy what you are learning. I want to believe you will live in MN again but I think your heart is in the warmer climes of the US. If you and your family find your way back to MN at some point in your life, you will be welcomed with open arms and surrounded by a family that loves you and cares about you very much. I love you.
Yep, saying goodbye is really hard to do but sometimes it is the best thing you can do. Goodbye Leanna and family. Have a safe trip home. We will see you in the fall and we will have to say goodbye again.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
TOO MUCH ON THIS GIRL'S PLATE
I've always been an involved busy person but this last couple of months have really pushed me to my limits. I finished traveling with Bruce for his year as Grand Commander of the state of MN and I thought things would slow down. I lost my job and thought things would slow down. Leanna and kids came to visit/look for work and I thought things would so down to enjoy them. Chloe's Carnival has come and gone and I thought things would slow down. The biggest culprit? Bruce's preliminary diagnosis of testicular cancer. Things will not slow down now. There is a doctor appt to make for this week to followup on the surgery and to come up with a plan of attack. The good news in all of this is that the cancer is 97% cureable!
Right now, I wish I could give everything 100% but I can't. My first concern is with Bruce, my second with Leanna & her family and third with the Gala. Along the way I'm still worried about Jenny and her family, my mom and if I'll ever find work or just be a stay at home daycare provider for my grandson. There are just too many things on my plate that need my attention.
My plate is full and I really want to just throw it all against a wall and see what sticks. I have my days when I want to just go along my merry way and not worry about anything and then life sneaks in and I knos there is no such thing for me. It's late now and I'm still writing this blog. Ithink this is one time when I'm going to say enough and take one more thing off of this girl's plate! Good night!
Right now, I wish I could give everything 100% but I can't. My first concern is with Bruce, my second with Leanna & her family and third with the Gala. Along the way I'm still worried about Jenny and her family, my mom and if I'll ever find work or just be a stay at home daycare provider for my grandson. There are just too many things on my plate that need my attention.
My plate is full and I really want to just throw it all against a wall and see what sticks. I have my days when I want to just go along my merry way and not worry about anything and then life sneaks in and I knos there is no such thing for me. It's late now and I'm still writing this blog. Ithink this is one time when I'm going to say enough and take one more thing off of this girl's plate! Good night!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Today is Chloe's 11th birthday. She's not here to celebrate it but she's knows that I'm thinking about her. She earned her wings in December 2000 and I miss her terribly.
Chloe was my first grandchild. She was born with multiple problems, wasn't suppose to live but surprised everyone by living with us for 2 years, 4 months and 8 days. Her little brother was born 3 months after she died. None of her siblings ever met her. But, she shares a birthday with her uncle Nathan.
I called Chloe "Babydoll" and promised her I would not call any other granddaughter I may have by that name. I have kept that promise by calling my other granddaughter "Sweetie". I shared many special times with Chloe and today gives me cause to stop and reflect on some of those times.
Things I remember about Chloe - the wonderful ah-ah sound she made, the day she cried out when I removed a bandaid from her arm, the way she tugged on her eyebrow, the way she looked at her aunt Joy's wedding, the Christmas photos I had taken every year as a surprise for Jenny and John, the way she felt sitting on my lap as she got older, the way she liked to cuddle, the day we watched the Vikings game when she was in the ICC at Childrens while the game was going on just down the street and mom and dad were at the game, she "wore" her Vikings onesy. These are just a few of the memories I have of my first grandchild.
On Saturday we will hold the first ever Chloe's Carnival as part of the fundraising efforts for The Chloe T. Foundation, her namesake. Jenny and John have wanted this event to become reality but weren't sure how to go about it. I connected with the right people and Saturday is the day! The foundation gives stuffed animals to children who are hospitalized in the Twin Cities and surrounding areas.
Chloe, thank you for the privilege of serving as the Executive Director of your namesake foundation. We are trying to continue to bring joy and light to the other kids in the hospital. You aleady know how many animals have been hugged by these kids. All I want to say to you today is - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABYDOLL ! I love you!
Chloe was my first grandchild. She was born with multiple problems, wasn't suppose to live but surprised everyone by living with us for 2 years, 4 months and 8 days. Her little brother was born 3 months after she died. None of her siblings ever met her. But, she shares a birthday with her uncle Nathan.
I called Chloe "Babydoll" and promised her I would not call any other granddaughter I may have by that name. I have kept that promise by calling my other granddaughter "Sweetie". I shared many special times with Chloe and today gives me cause to stop and reflect on some of those times.
Things I remember about Chloe - the wonderful ah-ah sound she made, the day she cried out when I removed a bandaid from her arm, the way she tugged on her eyebrow, the way she looked at her aunt Joy's wedding, the Christmas photos I had taken every year as a surprise for Jenny and John, the way she felt sitting on my lap as she got older, the way she liked to cuddle, the day we watched the Vikings game when she was in the ICC at Childrens while the game was going on just down the street and mom and dad were at the game, she "wore" her Vikings onesy. These are just a few of the memories I have of my first grandchild.
On Saturday we will hold the first ever Chloe's Carnival as part of the fundraising efforts for The Chloe T. Foundation, her namesake. Jenny and John have wanted this event to become reality but weren't sure how to go about it. I connected with the right people and Saturday is the day! The foundation gives stuffed animals to children who are hospitalized in the Twin Cities and surrounding areas.
Chloe, thank you for the privilege of serving as the Executive Director of your namesake foundation. We are trying to continue to bring joy and light to the other kids in the hospital. You aleady know how many animals have been hugged by these kids. All I want to say to you today is - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABYDOLL ! I love you!
Monday, August 3, 2009
OPPOSITES AND DIFFERENCES
I have two daughters. They are as opposite as they can be. One born fair and blonde and the other dark and brunette. One has the big job, big house, great kids and a military husband. The other is looking for a job, content living in small spaces, great kids and has a Geek Squad husband. One wants perfection all the time while the other goes with the flow. How can two children made from the same parents be so different? This has been a question of mine almost since they were born.
The problem now is that their differences are causing havoc between them. Not all the time, but since last year, it has been strained. One feels things should be done a certain way and not take chances while the other takes things as they come and is willing to step out of her comfort zone. I know as adults they will have their differences but it sometimes hurts to see them unable to talk to each other because of something one said to the other; and, especially, when it was a foolish comment.
Why am I so sensitive about this? I can tell you in just a few short words. I'm an only. I didn't grow up with brothers or sisters to talk to, to play with or tell secrets to. I talked to friends at school, my grandmother or just to God. Having a sibling is something I wanted, but not sure if my mom wanted more children. As time passed, I knew it wasn't going to happen so I resigned myself to the fact and went about making friends and keeping those friends in my life.
I want my daughters to realize what a gift they have in each other. When the time comes, they will have each other to lean should something happen to me or their dad. My husband was my strength when my dad passed away, same with my grandparents. And, I can't leave out my friend, Dave who has been part of my life since I was a toddler and the closest thing I have to a brother. He's the one I can call in the middle of the night should I need him. That is the meaning of a true friend.
Girls, if you read this, please know that I love you both so much and it makes my heart hurt when you fight, don't respect each others feelings and don't talk for days. You both have wonderful families, great children and husbands who love you. These are all wonderful gifts but your first gift is to each other. I'm not saying you won't have differences, but you need to learn that it is okay to not have the same direction in life, not have the same hopes and dreams and to be different from each other whilie still loving each other with all your heart. You will always be sisters and no one can take that away from you.
There are opposites in everyone's life. Mine just happen to be the most precious gifts I have been given, my daughters Jenny and Leanna. I love you.
The problem now is that their differences are causing havoc between them. Not all the time, but since last year, it has been strained. One feels things should be done a certain way and not take chances while the other takes things as they come and is willing to step out of her comfort zone. I know as adults they will have their differences but it sometimes hurts to see them unable to talk to each other because of something one said to the other; and, especially, when it was a foolish comment.
Why am I so sensitive about this? I can tell you in just a few short words. I'm an only. I didn't grow up with brothers or sisters to talk to, to play with or tell secrets to. I talked to friends at school, my grandmother or just to God. Having a sibling is something I wanted, but not sure if my mom wanted more children. As time passed, I knew it wasn't going to happen so I resigned myself to the fact and went about making friends and keeping those friends in my life.
I want my daughters to realize what a gift they have in each other. When the time comes, they will have each other to lean should something happen to me or their dad. My husband was my strength when my dad passed away, same with my grandparents. And, I can't leave out my friend, Dave who has been part of my life since I was a toddler and the closest thing I have to a brother. He's the one I can call in the middle of the night should I need him. That is the meaning of a true friend.
Girls, if you read this, please know that I love you both so much and it makes my heart hurt when you fight, don't respect each others feelings and don't talk for days. You both have wonderful families, great children and husbands who love you. These are all wonderful gifts but your first gift is to each other. I'm not saying you won't have differences, but you need to learn that it is okay to not have the same direction in life, not have the same hopes and dreams and to be different from each other whilie still loving each other with all your heart. You will always be sisters and no one can take that away from you.
There are opposites in everyone's life. Mine just happen to be the most precious gifts I have been given, my daughters Jenny and Leanna. I love you.
SHE'S HERE
My daughter, Leanna and her two children arrived safely on Wednesday, July 29, the car was barely stopped in the driveway when out came two kids running to hug Nonna (for them I spell it this way). Leanna came up slowly as she released all the muscles in her body from the 4 hour car trip but we hugged each other tightly. I missed her so much.
Last year around this same time she came back to Minnesota in pursuit of a job, but missed her husband and decided to go back to Texas. This time she is back to look again but is prepared to stay should she be able to find a job. Armed with a webcam on the computer she and the kids can see Stacy everyday and talk to him. The only thing missing is the physical part, hugging, kissing and touching.
Today she starts her search. I hope and pray she finds something that will keep her in Minnesota. Even if only for a few years, it would be nice to have some day to day or even weekly interaction with her, her husband and my grandchildren. Good Luck Leanna!
Last year around this same time she came back to Minnesota in pursuit of a job, but missed her husband and decided to go back to Texas. This time she is back to look again but is prepared to stay should she be able to find a job. Armed with a webcam on the computer she and the kids can see Stacy everyday and talk to him. The only thing missing is the physical part, hugging, kissing and touching.
Today she starts her search. I hope and pray she finds something that will keep her in Minnesota. Even if only for a few years, it would be nice to have some day to day or even weekly interaction with her, her husband and my grandchildren. Good Luck Leanna!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
EXCITEMENT BUILDS
On Wednesday of this week, my daughter Leanna and her children, Maddie and Xavier will be coming for a visit. I am so excited, I can hardly contain myself.
When one of your children leaves the nest, it's not such a bad thing; but when their new nest is 1,500 miles away, it makes their return (even for a visit) that much more special.
I missed a lot of the "firsts" with these particular grandchildren and I can never get them back. What I can do though, is make some memories when I am with them. I have some plans of things I want to do with them over the next couple of weeks. I don't know if we will get them all in, but I'm going to try my darndest. It probably doesn't hurt that since I'm unemployed I will have more time to spend with them.
Even as an adult I get excited for events to happen. As a child, I always looked forward to going to Excelsior Amusement Park for the annual picnic for the company where my aunts worked. going to the lake each weekend with my grandparents was always exciting as well. When I travel, I can't hardly sleep the night before leaving for vacation, the national bowling tournament or just time away with Bruce. Now, it is counting down the days until Leanna's arrival. I don't think I will ever grow up.
Having the excitement build waiting for your child to return to the nest (even for a visit) is a wonderful feeling. I probably won't sleep much over the next couple of days but I will be keeping the daytime hours busy as I clean up the house and get ready for their arrival.
When one of your children leaves the nest, it's not such a bad thing; but when their new nest is 1,500 miles away, it makes their return (even for a visit) that much more special.
I missed a lot of the "firsts" with these particular grandchildren and I can never get them back. What I can do though, is make some memories when I am with them. I have some plans of things I want to do with them over the next couple of weeks. I don't know if we will get them all in, but I'm going to try my darndest. It probably doesn't hurt that since I'm unemployed I will have more time to spend with them.
Even as an adult I get excited for events to happen. As a child, I always looked forward to going to Excelsior Amusement Park for the annual picnic for the company where my aunts worked. going to the lake each weekend with my grandparents was always exciting as well. When I travel, I can't hardly sleep the night before leaving for vacation, the national bowling tournament or just time away with Bruce. Now, it is counting down the days until Leanna's arrival. I don't think I will ever grow up.
Having the excitement build waiting for your child to return to the nest (even for a visit) is a wonderful feeling. I probably won't sleep much over the next couple of days but I will be keeping the daytime hours busy as I clean up the house and get ready for their arrival.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
A DAY TO MYSELF
Do you ever have one of those days when you don't feel like doing a darn thing except take some time for yourself? I had one of those today. After making breakfast for Bruce, I called Jenny to see if she and the kids wanted to go to the waterpark with me. She said she had better clean the house if John was coming home for a visit. I was sad but at the same time I thought to myself it would be a good thing just to go by myself.
I did decide I needed to accomplish one thing, finish stuffing envelopes for mailing on Monday. I did that in record time and then planned my escape. On went the bathing suit and coverup. I threw a book, sunscreen, noseplugs, brush, drivers license, and money into my bag. Put together some snacks and put bottled water in a smaller cooler. Grabbed my keys and towels, kissed Bruce goodbye and I was outta here!
The park opens at 11 AM and there is usually a long line to get in; and, if you aren't there early enough, you don't get a chair. I was third in line. In fact there wasn't even a line right at 11 AM. it was pretty quiet. I chalked it up to all the others being good Christians and attending church (which I usually don't do in the summer). Anyway, I was able to walk over to the new area of the park where they have built two new slides and a lazy river. I got a chair next to the light pole. Why is that significant? I use the pole to hang unto when I get up from the chair. The hips get below the knees and I'm in trouble.
After settling my things, removing my cover up and putting on sunscreen, I headed to the mouth of the lazy river. The lifeguard who helps you get started held the tube for me as I jumped on. Then he pushed me into the current and away I went. There was no one else in the river. What a joy!
After going around several times (I lost track of how many), the guard at the exit asked if I was getting out, Nope I said, I'm going to just keep going around if that's okay with you. And on I went. Again, I lost track of how many times I went around and every time managing not to have the bucket drop its' full force of water on me. I went to my chair and decided to read for a while, I took a short nap, then decided to head to the regular pool. It was still pretty empty so I was able to do a couple of laps back and forth, rested and then did it again. I talked to a mom who had older kids there and I told her how much I enjoyed not having to be responsible for any children today. She agreed to the point of hers being old enough to manage on their own.
Then it was back to the chair. A snack, a little reading, back to the water. Repeat, repeat, repeat. The next thing I know, it's 3 PM. I better get me home so I can now be responsible again and get my mom's groceries she's been waiting for. So, I pack up and watch to see which vulture is waiting to swoop up my chair because now it has gotten just a bit more crowded and I'm glad I'm heading home.
Don't let any one kid you about having a day to yourself. To do the one thing you enjoy most. Just a few hours to yourself. I've been missing being by the water. With our boat gone and not going to the lake for vacation anymore, having just those few hours by the pool made a world of difference. That's not to say I won't be going there again, especially if the weather cooperates. You see, I'm going to have a lot of days to myself as I am now unemployed.
I did decide I needed to accomplish one thing, finish stuffing envelopes for mailing on Monday. I did that in record time and then planned my escape. On went the bathing suit and coverup. I threw a book, sunscreen, noseplugs, brush, drivers license, and money into my bag. Put together some snacks and put bottled water in a smaller cooler. Grabbed my keys and towels, kissed Bruce goodbye and I was outta here!
The park opens at 11 AM and there is usually a long line to get in; and, if you aren't there early enough, you don't get a chair. I was third in line. In fact there wasn't even a line right at 11 AM. it was pretty quiet. I chalked it up to all the others being good Christians and attending church (which I usually don't do in the summer). Anyway, I was able to walk over to the new area of the park where they have built two new slides and a lazy river. I got a chair next to the light pole. Why is that significant? I use the pole to hang unto when I get up from the chair. The hips get below the knees and I'm in trouble.
After settling my things, removing my cover up and putting on sunscreen, I headed to the mouth of the lazy river. The lifeguard who helps you get started held the tube for me as I jumped on. Then he pushed me into the current and away I went. There was no one else in the river. What a joy!
After going around several times (I lost track of how many), the guard at the exit asked if I was getting out, Nope I said, I'm going to just keep going around if that's okay with you. And on I went. Again, I lost track of how many times I went around and every time managing not to have the bucket drop its' full force of water on me. I went to my chair and decided to read for a while, I took a short nap, then decided to head to the regular pool. It was still pretty empty so I was able to do a couple of laps back and forth, rested and then did it again. I talked to a mom who had older kids there and I told her how much I enjoyed not having to be responsible for any children today. She agreed to the point of hers being old enough to manage on their own.
Then it was back to the chair. A snack, a little reading, back to the water. Repeat, repeat, repeat. The next thing I know, it's 3 PM. I better get me home so I can now be responsible again and get my mom's groceries she's been waiting for. So, I pack up and watch to see which vulture is waiting to swoop up my chair because now it has gotten just a bit more crowded and I'm glad I'm heading home.
Don't let any one kid you about having a day to yourself. To do the one thing you enjoy most. Just a few hours to yourself. I've been missing being by the water. With our boat gone and not going to the lake for vacation anymore, having just those few hours by the pool made a world of difference. That's not to say I won't be going there again, especially if the weather cooperates. You see, I'm going to have a lot of days to myself as I am now unemployed.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
THE OL' WATER HOLE
There is a new meaning to "the ol' water hole". It's called a waterpark. Last Friday I spent 4 hours and 45 minutes (not that I was counting) with my grandchildren floating around the lazy river, watching Max come down the slide, kind of forcing Colby to go in the lazy river and seeing Sarah giggle and smile all the way around.
This was my kind of day. I got to do two of the things I love the best. Spend time with my grandchildren and be at the pool! The kids were rewarded with this day because they were so good when we were in Willmar. They had spent 5 days cooped up in the hotel, went swimming only twice and sat through numberous lunches and banquets. They deserved a fun event.
Jenny dropped the kids off at 7 AM but they didn't know they were going anywhere special. they just thought Nana was going to babysit since their normal daycare was closed. They watch Ghostbusters and at 10 AM I told them it was time to get ready to go out, "come put your swimsuits on!" "What?" "Where are we going". I told them the surprise and told them to hurry up so we could get there to be in line for when it opened (I figured it would be busy with it being the "official" holiday for the 4th). all I could go was laugh when Sarah came down tugging on her suit. It was too small and she had a just a bit too much showing that shouldn't have been showing. Well, I guess we were going to make a stop at Target on the way. In the car we piled, made the quick stop and headed to Apple Valley.
I was right it was crowded with a capital C. There was no way we were going to get a chair to sit on so we spread the towels out on the lawn along with a hundred more or so people. After a dousing of sunscreen for the kids (oops, forgot me), we hit the water. In and out, have a snack, go to the lazy river, back to the big pool, Colby swimming underwater, Max scaring the begebees out of me and Sarah just giggling , smiling and trying to put her face in the water, then back for a snack and so the afternoon went. I lost sight of Max for a little bit but figured he was probably in the lazy river since he loves doing that - sure enough that's where he emerged from.
When it was time to go, no one really wanted to but Nana had had enough "sun" (it was actually cloudy) but you wouldn't have known there was no sun. Nana got extremely sunburned. Oh well, wasn't the first and probably won't be the last. Then it was on to Sonic for Corn Dogs and Ice Cream. I ordered and the kids thought it was pretty cool that the lady brought the food out to us. They started on the corn dogs and then asked when they could have their ice cream. Sarah gave me back her corn dog and said she didn't want it. Oh well, no ice cream for her. I ordered and when it came handed it back to Max and Colby. Sarah says "Where's mine?" I told her since she didn't eat, she couldn't have ice cream. You should have seen how quickly she wanted her corn dog back. She gobbled it up just about the time Max said he had had enough ice cream. Well, I saved some money there because Sarah ate the rest of Max's!
We pulled out of the drive-in and headed to Jordan. Three very tired kids and a Nana who figured she better get the kids home fast so she could get home and REST!! Compared to the mucky lake I used to swim in as a kid, this ol' water hole was GREAT!!
This was my kind of day. I got to do two of the things I love the best. Spend time with my grandchildren and be at the pool! The kids were rewarded with this day because they were so good when we were in Willmar. They had spent 5 days cooped up in the hotel, went swimming only twice and sat through numberous lunches and banquets. They deserved a fun event.
Jenny dropped the kids off at 7 AM but they didn't know they were going anywhere special. they just thought Nana was going to babysit since their normal daycare was closed. They watch Ghostbusters and at 10 AM I told them it was time to get ready to go out, "come put your swimsuits on!" "What?" "Where are we going". I told them the surprise and told them to hurry up so we could get there to be in line for when it opened (I figured it would be busy with it being the "official" holiday for the 4th). all I could go was laugh when Sarah came down tugging on her suit. It was too small and she had a just a bit too much showing that shouldn't have been showing. Well, I guess we were going to make a stop at Target on the way. In the car we piled, made the quick stop and headed to Apple Valley.
I was right it was crowded with a capital C. There was no way we were going to get a chair to sit on so we spread the towels out on the lawn along with a hundred more or so people. After a dousing of sunscreen for the kids (oops, forgot me), we hit the water. In and out, have a snack, go to the lazy river, back to the big pool, Colby swimming underwater, Max scaring the begebees out of me and Sarah just giggling , smiling and trying to put her face in the water, then back for a snack and so the afternoon went. I lost sight of Max for a little bit but figured he was probably in the lazy river since he loves doing that - sure enough that's where he emerged from.
When it was time to go, no one really wanted to but Nana had had enough "sun" (it was actually cloudy) but you wouldn't have known there was no sun. Nana got extremely sunburned. Oh well, wasn't the first and probably won't be the last. Then it was on to Sonic for Corn Dogs and Ice Cream. I ordered and the kids thought it was pretty cool that the lady brought the food out to us. They started on the corn dogs and then asked when they could have their ice cream. Sarah gave me back her corn dog and said she didn't want it. Oh well, no ice cream for her. I ordered and when it came handed it back to Max and Colby. Sarah says "Where's mine?" I told her since she didn't eat, she couldn't have ice cream. You should have seen how quickly she wanted her corn dog back. She gobbled it up just about the time Max said he had had enough ice cream. Well, I saved some money there because Sarah ate the rest of Max's!
We pulled out of the drive-in and headed to Jordan. Three very tired kids and a Nana who figured she better get the kids home fast so she could get home and REST!! Compared to the mucky lake I used to swim in as a kid, this ol' water hole was GREAT!!
Monday, June 29, 2009
IT'S DONE !
Yesterday was the end of what has been a five year journey for Bruce on his road to becoming Grand Commander Knights Templar of Minnesota and ending this term of office. For the last several months we have been planning for this weekend. With high hopes we would be able to pull off a great session. Without a lot of input for the other grand ladies, I went about planning for the hospitality room, ladies luncheon, decorations for the Grand Banquet and the new sports banquet. My efforts were rewarded this weekend with many compliments for all that I had done.
I do need to take a moment to thank Jenny for all of her hard work with weekend. Without her, I don't think the Hospitality Room would have flowed as easily as it did. She wouldn't let me do anything execpt put the stuff in the room. She took care of everything - setting things up each morning with breakfast items, replenishing and adding items as the morning and afternoon progressed, making coffee and even served strawberry shortcake to about 125 people after the banquet. She did an awesome job and both Bruce and I are happy she was there to help.
The next thank you goes to our grandchildren, Max, Colby and Sarah. They were so well behaved. They had their moments but for the most part everyone thought they behaved quite nicely (especially for being cooped up in a hotel room for a good share of Friday). They have a earned a trip to the waterpark in Apple Valley on Friday as a thank you from Nana for being so good. Sarah was the Resident Princess at the Ladies Luncheon with her pink tiara and white dress. She drew names for the door prizes and then delivered them to each one whose name was drawn. She did a great job.
Thank you goes to our good friends Dave and Rita for their journey out to attend the Grand Banquet as well as Bruce's brother Dean and his wife, Carol. It was awesome to be able to share the end of this journey with them. I think Dean has a new appreciation for what Bruce has been doing over the last 30+ years of Masonry. As for Dave, (and Rita) he has been at almost every important event in my life and I love sharing it with him.
It has been a long journey and one that both Bruce and I are glad is over. It was an experience unlike any other we have had. We are looking forward to the rest of the summer with no particular plans to do anything except what might come our way. My red cord has changed to purple (signifies me as a Past Grand Commander's Lady) and it will hang with the swords at the end of the hall rady for me to wear when it is deemed necessary.
Yes, the end of June is finally here and I am so glad. It's done!
I do need to take a moment to thank Jenny for all of her hard work with weekend. Without her, I don't think the Hospitality Room would have flowed as easily as it did. She wouldn't let me do anything execpt put the stuff in the room. She took care of everything - setting things up each morning with breakfast items, replenishing and adding items as the morning and afternoon progressed, making coffee and even served strawberry shortcake to about 125 people after the banquet. She did an awesome job and both Bruce and I are happy she was there to help.
The next thank you goes to our grandchildren, Max, Colby and Sarah. They were so well behaved. They had their moments but for the most part everyone thought they behaved quite nicely (especially for being cooped up in a hotel room for a good share of Friday). They have a earned a trip to the waterpark in Apple Valley on Friday as a thank you from Nana for being so good. Sarah was the Resident Princess at the Ladies Luncheon with her pink tiara and white dress. She drew names for the door prizes and then delivered them to each one whose name was drawn. She did a great job.
Thank you goes to our good friends Dave and Rita for their journey out to attend the Grand Banquet as well as Bruce's brother Dean and his wife, Carol. It was awesome to be able to share the end of this journey with them. I think Dean has a new appreciation for what Bruce has been doing over the last 30+ years of Masonry. As for Dave, (and Rita) he has been at almost every important event in my life and I love sharing it with him.
It has been a long journey and one that both Bruce and I are glad is over. It was an experience unlike any other we have had. We are looking forward to the rest of the summer with no particular plans to do anything except what might come our way. My red cord has changed to purple (signifies me as a Past Grand Commander's Lady) and it will hang with the swords at the end of the hall rady for me to wear when it is deemed necessary.
Yes, the end of June is finally here and I am so glad. It's done!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
BE SAFE
As I hugged my son-in-law goodbye on Sunday, all I could say to him was "be safe". Tears were starting to well and I had to get out of area fast so that he wouldn't see them. He's leaving for Indiana tomorrow morning to finish his training before he goes to Afghanistan next month.
His unit, the 114th Transportation Company - The Wolf Pack, Army National Guard. Their job is resupplying mobile combat units and move loads of ammunition and all classes of supply, shelters and containers. This can be very dangerous as many of the targets are the convoys. He is strong and he is brave and I am very proud of him.
Saying goodbye to him was a very hard thing for me to do, but I can't even imagine what it is like for his wife, my daughter, Jenny to do. Knowing she will not be able to touch him for over a year, having to make decisions they would normally make together and having to take care of three young children who aren't quite sure why Daddy has to leave. This is a strong family.
Max will be "the man of the house" now that John is gone, Colby will miss his hero yet still be Daddy's "little man" and Sarah will be the "pink" in Daddy's Cami World. these are what the sweatshirts say that Jenny bought them. She is proud of her husband yet knows he will be putting his life on the line every day for the next year. What does her shirt say? "surviving my 2nd deployment" as this is the second time John has done this tour.
Maybe what I should have said to John was "come home", but then that could a number of things. the best thing I could say to him was "Be Safe". Be Safe Sgt. John Karline, come home to us the way you left and know that we all love you and will be praying for you to "Be Safe".
His unit, the 114th Transportation Company - The Wolf Pack, Army National Guard. Their job is resupplying mobile combat units and move loads of ammunition and all classes of supply, shelters and containers. This can be very dangerous as many of the targets are the convoys. He is strong and he is brave and I am very proud of him.
Saying goodbye to him was a very hard thing for me to do, but I can't even imagine what it is like for his wife, my daughter, Jenny to do. Knowing she will not be able to touch him for over a year, having to make decisions they would normally make together and having to take care of three young children who aren't quite sure why Daddy has to leave. This is a strong family.
Max will be "the man of the house" now that John is gone, Colby will miss his hero yet still be Daddy's "little man" and Sarah will be the "pink" in Daddy's Cami World. these are what the sweatshirts say that Jenny bought them. She is proud of her husband yet knows he will be putting his life on the line every day for the next year. What does her shirt say? "surviving my 2nd deployment" as this is the second time John has done this tour.
Maybe what I should have said to John was "come home", but then that could a number of things. the best thing I could say to him was "Be Safe". Be Safe Sgt. John Karline, come home to us the way you left and know that we all love you and will be praying for you to "Be Safe".
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
BAD NEWS, GOOD NEWS
Sometimes receiving bad news can actually be good news. How is that possible? I got a call on Sunday from my daughter, Leanna. She called to tell me she had been let go from yet another job. Apparently, they want the job done a certain way, don't tell you what that way is and then fire you because you're not doing it the "right" way. I don't think I would want to work there anyway. So that's the bad news.
The good news (at least to me) is that Leanna is applying for jobs in Minnesota again. As of Monday, she had applied for 5 jobs all in the Twin Cities area. This is good news to my ears but I know she has mixed feelings about it.
Leanna and Stacy talked quite a bit yesterday and came to a decision to continue on the path she was taking and hope it led them to where they are suppose to be at this time in their lives. This may mean living apart for maybe a year, but Leanna figures, if Jenny can do it, so can she. It makes my heart happy she is looking here in MN, but I also don't want to get my hopes up. I did that last time and it didn't pan out. Now, I just want her to be able to work, pay bills, have fun with her kids, and all the other stuff that makes for a happily ever after.
Bad news can sometimes be good. In this case, it is definitely good for me and maybe just "so-so" for Leanna.
The good news (at least to me) is that Leanna is applying for jobs in Minnesota again. As of Monday, she had applied for 5 jobs all in the Twin Cities area. This is good news to my ears but I know she has mixed feelings about it.
Leanna and Stacy talked quite a bit yesterday and came to a decision to continue on the path she was taking and hope it led them to where they are suppose to be at this time in their lives. This may mean living apart for maybe a year, but Leanna figures, if Jenny can do it, so can she. It makes my heart happy she is looking here in MN, but I also don't want to get my hopes up. I did that last time and it didn't pan out. Now, I just want her to be able to work, pay bills, have fun with her kids, and all the other stuff that makes for a happily ever after.
Bad news can sometimes be good. In this case, it is definitely good for me and maybe just "so-so" for Leanna.
Friday, May 29, 2009
MADDIE'S BIRTHDAY
Today is Madeleine Elise Suarez's 7th birthday. She lives in Houston, TX and I live in Prior Lake, MN. Doesn't make for a way to have a big brithday party. I miss her every day because I can't kiss and hug her the way I can my other grandkids who live here.
Leanna is very good about sending pictures of Maddie almost every week now which does help but I still cry. I'm hoping we can work it out to have her spend a couple of weeks here in MN this summer, but we'll have to see. It's always about the money.
To Maddie - I want to tell you to have a very happy birthday even though Nonna and Poppa are not there to celebrate with you,. Please know we love you very much. Ask Mommy and Daddy to give you some big hugs and kisses from us. Presents are coming from Nonna and Poppa and GG too!
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Maddie, happy birthday to you!! Don't forget to make a wish when you blow out the candles!
Leanna is very good about sending pictures of Maddie almost every week now which does help but I still cry. I'm hoping we can work it out to have her spend a couple of weeks here in MN this summer, but we'll have to see. It's always about the money.
To Maddie - I want to tell you to have a very happy birthday even though Nonna and Poppa are not there to celebrate with you,. Please know we love you very much. Ask Mommy and Daddy to give you some big hugs and kisses from us. Presents are coming from Nonna and Poppa and GG too!
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Maddie, happy birthday to you!! Don't forget to make a wish when you blow out the candles!
Monday, May 25, 2009
MEMORIAL DAY
Today we celebrated Memorial Day the same way we have for the last 8 years, arriving at Acacia Cemetary to observe the laying of the wreaths, the playing of Taps, the 21 gun salute, the Living Cross done by the Jobs Daughters and the trip down the hill to visit our beloved Chloe. There were a few exceptions this year. Bruce and I arrived 15 minutes late for "muster" at 9:30 AM as Bruce was not feeling well at all, Jenny and John thought the ceremony started at 10:30 AM and got there right at 10, the rest of the Karline family arrived, I sat by myself while the rest of the group sat in the sun (with the occasional visit by Colby and Max to sit in my lap and cuddle), visiting with our many friends from the Masonic Orders, losing Bruce, finding Bruce and finally arriving at the bottom of the hill to put flowers from a friend's wedding at Chloe's gravesite.
The ceremony and speeches today honored the men and women in uniform both past and present. I thought of my son-in-law headed to Afghanistan and how I didn't want him to have to go. But, at the same time extremely proud of him for being willing to lay his life on the line to help us keep the freedoms we have. I thought of Jenny and how strong she will need to be during the coming months and I thought of my grandchildren who will be without their father for 12 long months. Yes, there were a few exceptions today.
Many things were different as I didn't feel the need to stay as long this time. Maybe it was because Bruce was ill and I wanted to get him home. Maybe it was just time to do what I had come to do and move on. Maybe it's because Chloe is in my heart all the time now and I don't need to see the grave marker as much or . . . maybe, just maybe I prefer to sit with Chloe by myself and talk to her. To tell her how much she is needed to watch over her family, her mommy needs to know she has a guardian angel, her daddy needs her to protect him while he is in Afghanistan, her brothers and sister need her to help them be good and helpful while daddy is away and to tell her how much I miss her.
After leaving the cemetary and getting Bruce home, I went out to Jenny's to have lunch with their family and John's parents. John was leaving later in the afternoon to return to Camp Ripley for another 3 weeks of training. While Jenny and I made mints for the deployment ceremony in Chisholm, I watched as John interacted with each of his children. Jenny excused herself for have a few moments of private time as she said her goodbyes. After that, John came to say goodbye, hugs his kids, allow me to hug him and tell him to take care of himself and we would help take care of his family. I watched when Jenny returned from walking John to his car. I knew the tears were there and she was being brave, even asking for her own pity party which, of course, I granted.
I think it takes a pretty strong woman to have to say goodbye several times over until the one that means I won't see you for a year. I never thought much about the military until John came into our lives, but this Memorial Day I thought about it even more. Yes, this Memorial Day was different but then again, aren't they all?
The ceremony and speeches today honored the men and women in uniform both past and present. I thought of my son-in-law headed to Afghanistan and how I didn't want him to have to go. But, at the same time extremely proud of him for being willing to lay his life on the line to help us keep the freedoms we have. I thought of Jenny and how strong she will need to be during the coming months and I thought of my grandchildren who will be without their father for 12 long months. Yes, there were a few exceptions today.
Many things were different as I didn't feel the need to stay as long this time. Maybe it was because Bruce was ill and I wanted to get him home. Maybe it was just time to do what I had come to do and move on. Maybe it's because Chloe is in my heart all the time now and I don't need to see the grave marker as much or . . . maybe, just maybe I prefer to sit with Chloe by myself and talk to her. To tell her how much she is needed to watch over her family, her mommy needs to know she has a guardian angel, her daddy needs her to protect him while he is in Afghanistan, her brothers and sister need her to help them be good and helpful while daddy is away and to tell her how much I miss her.
After leaving the cemetary and getting Bruce home, I went out to Jenny's to have lunch with their family and John's parents. John was leaving later in the afternoon to return to Camp Ripley for another 3 weeks of training. While Jenny and I made mints for the deployment ceremony in Chisholm, I watched as John interacted with each of his children. Jenny excused herself for have a few moments of private time as she said her goodbyes. After that, John came to say goodbye, hugs his kids, allow me to hug him and tell him to take care of himself and we would help take care of his family. I watched when Jenny returned from walking John to his car. I knew the tears were there and she was being brave, even asking for her own pity party which, of course, I granted.
I think it takes a pretty strong woman to have to say goodbye several times over until the one that means I won't see you for a year. I never thought much about the military until John came into our lives, but this Memorial Day I thought about it even more. Yes, this Memorial Day was different but then again, aren't they all?
Saturday, May 16, 2009
GRANDKIDS
Today I had the pleasure of spending some time with my grandkids while their mom and I did our grocery shopping. When the girls were little, we rarely took them to the grocery store. I usually did the shopping and my husband watched the girls. Jenny doesn't have the luxury now with John at Camp Ripley. I knew she had to do her shopping so I called and asked if she wanted some company and use the "divide and conquer" technique to get through it unscathed.
It was funny to watch the dynamics of the kids. One didn't want to be where his brother was, one wanted to be with me and then mom and then me and the mom... well, you get the picture. I had the boys help get things off of the shelves and they seemed to enjoy helping me. Sarah on the other seemed to be not listening at all and just went about doing what she wanted to do.
Max said he was thirsty so I told him he could have one of the bottles of strawberry water I was buying. There were four in the pack so I knew the checkout would be fine. he kept asking me if I had paid for it yet. I told him no but that I would be when we checked out. Well, he decided he didn't want to drink it if it wasn't paid for. Cute huh?
After I had checked out and was waiting for Jenny, Max was in the way, Colby was helping put the bags in Jen's cart and I noticed Sarah with her hands in her pockets. I knelt down to see what she was "hiding". In one pocket was some bubble gum and the other had a chapstick. Her little bottom lip was quivering as I scolded her for taking something that was not hers. I told her I never wanted to see her take anything again or Nana was going to be very mad at her. Jenny watched the scene while checking out and later said she stayed out of it since she hadn't seen what was going on. I hope Sarah got the message and won't try that stunt again.
Then we were off to White Castle for lunch. We ate leisurely and talked between the two tables we sat at. Kids at one, Mom and Nana at the other. All was well until Sarah decided to get down from the high stool she was perched on. As she jumped down her toe caught on the rung of the chair and she fell right on her knees. She cried and Mom gave her a big hug and carried her out to the car. I said my goodbyes and waved as they drove away.
Even though there were some rough spots today, I enjoy being with my grandkids. I love their different personalities, how they interact with others and themselves and how they give me hugs unconditionally as do I in turn. They are one of the greatest gifts in life I have been given (along with a fantastic husband, two smart, talented daughters and two son-in-laws who love my daughters). Until next time . . .
It was funny to watch the dynamics of the kids. One didn't want to be where his brother was, one wanted to be with me and then mom and then me and the mom... well, you get the picture. I had the boys help get things off of the shelves and they seemed to enjoy helping me. Sarah on the other seemed to be not listening at all and just went about doing what she wanted to do.
Max said he was thirsty so I told him he could have one of the bottles of strawberry water I was buying. There were four in the pack so I knew the checkout would be fine. he kept asking me if I had paid for it yet. I told him no but that I would be when we checked out. Well, he decided he didn't want to drink it if it wasn't paid for. Cute huh?
After I had checked out and was waiting for Jenny, Max was in the way, Colby was helping put the bags in Jen's cart and I noticed Sarah with her hands in her pockets. I knelt down to see what she was "hiding". In one pocket was some bubble gum and the other had a chapstick. Her little bottom lip was quivering as I scolded her for taking something that was not hers. I told her I never wanted to see her take anything again or Nana was going to be very mad at her. Jenny watched the scene while checking out and later said she stayed out of it since she hadn't seen what was going on. I hope Sarah got the message and won't try that stunt again.
Then we were off to White Castle for lunch. We ate leisurely and talked between the two tables we sat at. Kids at one, Mom and Nana at the other. All was well until Sarah decided to get down from the high stool she was perched on. As she jumped down her toe caught on the rung of the chair and she fell right on her knees. She cried and Mom gave her a big hug and carried her out to the car. I said my goodbyes and waved as they drove away.
Even though there were some rough spots today, I enjoy being with my grandkids. I love their different personalities, how they interact with others and themselves and how they give me hugs unconditionally as do I in turn. They are one of the greatest gifts in life I have been given (along with a fantastic husband, two smart, talented daughters and two son-in-laws who love my daughters). Until next time . . .
Friday, May 15, 2009
MISSING FAMILY
Last night I had the opportunity to watch three of my grandchildren while mom went to Bunco Night with her neighbors. They were good for me and did what I asked. But, being with them makes me miss my other daughter's family.
Leanna along with her husband Stacy and their children Madeleine and Xavier live in Houston, Texas. Maddie is almost 7 years old and Xay will be 4 in August. They are great kids who live life and play hard. When I have the chance to visit with them, we have so much fun and I love to hear "Nana, Nana's here!" Of course, I love hearing it here in Minnesota as well but I don't get to hear Maddie and Xay voices that often.
Leanna sends me pictures every once and a while. More often now that she has a iphone. The pictures are usually of the kids doing something cute from sitting eating a hot dog to swimming in Grandma Romie's pool to dancing to the music. Maddie will usually stop what she is doing a "pose" while Xay just keeps right on with what he is doing.
Leanna and Stacy take the kids to lots of different parks, museums and the rodeo. They go to the movies once in a while but are now focused on looking for a new apartment. After 8 months of living with Grandma Romie, it's time to move out. Leanna has found a job she loves (timing for a job in MN came just two weeks too late) and Stacy is up for a promotion (keep your fingers crossed). Today I think Stacy is going to call around looking for a 2 bedroom place they can call home. One good thing will come out of this, they have to come to MN to get their stuff out of storage so we will get to see them. Of course, that means we have to give back the big flat screen TV we have in our family room. they didn't want to put it in storage we agreed to have it in our family room to use. Guess we'll just have to buy ourselves our own.
It is so hard to have family live so far away. It's too far for a car ride and too expensive to jump on a plane when you want to see them. Leanna is my second child and having her so far away sometimes hurts so much I just sit down and cry. Those times usually come on the heels of seeing a cute picture of the kids, hearing a funny story or listening to Leanna and her issues and not being there to comfort her. You watch this tiny baby become a toddler, go to school, go to college, get jobs, fall in love, get married ...... You don't stop being a "mom". They will always be your child and you hurt when they hurt and you're happy when they're are happy.
If Leanna and Stacy get a chance to read this, I hope they know how much I love them, how much I miss them and how much I wish them only happiness. In my heart I know you must live your life your way, but that doesn't mean I still won't always keep a glimmer of hope you will find your way back to MN at some point in time to live and work.
Missing family sucks but you grin and bear it and know that you have a warm place to visit in the winter!
Leanna along with her husband Stacy and their children Madeleine and Xavier live in Houston, Texas. Maddie is almost 7 years old and Xay will be 4 in August. They are great kids who live life and play hard. When I have the chance to visit with them, we have so much fun and I love to hear "Nana, Nana's here!" Of course, I love hearing it here in Minnesota as well but I don't get to hear Maddie and Xay voices that often.
Leanna sends me pictures every once and a while. More often now that she has a iphone. The pictures are usually of the kids doing something cute from sitting eating a hot dog to swimming in Grandma Romie's pool to dancing to the music. Maddie will usually stop what she is doing a "pose" while Xay just keeps right on with what he is doing.
Leanna and Stacy take the kids to lots of different parks, museums and the rodeo. They go to the movies once in a while but are now focused on looking for a new apartment. After 8 months of living with Grandma Romie, it's time to move out. Leanna has found a job she loves (timing for a job in MN came just two weeks too late) and Stacy is up for a promotion (keep your fingers crossed). Today I think Stacy is going to call around looking for a 2 bedroom place they can call home. One good thing will come out of this, they have to come to MN to get their stuff out of storage so we will get to see them. Of course, that means we have to give back the big flat screen TV we have in our family room. they didn't want to put it in storage we agreed to have it in our family room to use. Guess we'll just have to buy ourselves our own.
It is so hard to have family live so far away. It's too far for a car ride and too expensive to jump on a plane when you want to see them. Leanna is my second child and having her so far away sometimes hurts so much I just sit down and cry. Those times usually come on the heels of seeing a cute picture of the kids, hearing a funny story or listening to Leanna and her issues and not being there to comfort her. You watch this tiny baby become a toddler, go to school, go to college, get jobs, fall in love, get married ...... You don't stop being a "mom". They will always be your child and you hurt when they hurt and you're happy when they're are happy.
If Leanna and Stacy get a chance to read this, I hope they know how much I love them, how much I miss them and how much I wish them only happiness. In my heart I know you must live your life your way, but that doesn't mean I still won't always keep a glimmer of hope you will find your way back to MN at some point in time to live and work.
Missing family sucks but you grin and bear it and know that you have a warm place to visit in the winter!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
THE COUNT DOWN BEGINS
Today is Day Two of my son-in-law John's second deployment. He is currently at Camp Ripley in preparation for his tour of duty in Afghanistan. I won't always see the day to day living my daughter Jenny and her children go through but I will see part of it. I know this is a struggle for her. To work, mother three children, take care of the house and have some kind of social life to maintain her sanity. These are the days a mother has a hard time watching her adult children go through life. You want so much to make it "all better" for them just like when they were little but you know you can't.
For my part, I'm hoping to spend some quality time with my grandson, Max. He loves to swim and since that is one of my passions as well, we will be hitting the pools a lot this summer. On other days it will be Colby who gets the attention. He loves to work with Legos and play Nintendo DS. I'm sure he can teach me a lot about both of them. Still other days will be spent with granddaughter Sarah. She loves to dress up, go shopping and have lunch. You can kind of see where we will be going with that - can anyone say MOA?
It is my hope I can get my husband to spend some time with the grandkids as well so I can take Jenny out once and a while. To have just girl talk, maybe have a quiet lunch or dinner or take in a movie. I will value this time as it is very rare. I wish there was more, but life has a way of getting in the way.
To John I just want to say - I don't always say it but I want you to know - I am very proud of you. You are a wonderful father, an attentive husband and a good soldier. I have a picture of you in uniform with Jenny at Amy's wedding sitting on my desk. It is there to remind me to pray for your safety and that of the men who serve with you. Please take care, come home in one piece and write when you can.
For my part, I'm hoping to spend some quality time with my grandson, Max. He loves to swim and since that is one of my passions as well, we will be hitting the pools a lot this summer. On other days it will be Colby who gets the attention. He loves to work with Legos and play Nintendo DS. I'm sure he can teach me a lot about both of them. Still other days will be spent with granddaughter Sarah. She loves to dress up, go shopping and have lunch. You can kind of see where we will be going with that - can anyone say MOA?
It is my hope I can get my husband to spend some time with the grandkids as well so I can take Jenny out once and a while. To have just girl talk, maybe have a quiet lunch or dinner or take in a movie. I will value this time as it is very rare. I wish there was more, but life has a way of getting in the way.
To John I just want to say - I don't always say it but I want you to know - I am very proud of you. You are a wonderful father, an attentive husband and a good soldier. I have a picture of you in uniform with Jenny at Amy's wedding sitting on my desk. It is there to remind me to pray for your safety and that of the men who serve with you. Please take care, come home in one piece and write when you can.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
LIFE AS I KNOW IT
This weekend I chose to do nothing outside of the house. I did take the time to purchase a couple of gifts to donate to Wishes and More for their Valentine's Ball on February 7. I also picked up a friend from the airport on Saturday night. That was it!
I had the pleasure of watching my grandkids for a few hours on Saturday while mom and dad went out. We had a great time watching ScoobyDoo2, with commentary from Colby as to what as scary and what was funny. Max asked to play with my Nintendo DS and Mario Party. I can't play the darn thing but he just jumped right in and knew wheat to do. Colby chose to watch Max play rather than play himself and Sarah sat quietly playing with her Leapster. Pizza was on the menu for dinner which they gobbled up and then it was back to the DS and Leapster until dad came to pick them up.
I was checking some emails and came across as picture of Xavier that Leanna had sent from her phone. I love getting these kind of pictures but they also tear at my heart. I miss them all so much. I see these pictures and I start to cry because I miss hearing their voices especially when Xavier would see me and say "Nana, Nana" and Maddie says "Nana, I love you."
With the cold weather, Bruce decided to stay in as well and finally put the heat vent in the ceiling in the laundry room. It made a big difference in how warm it stayed down in the family room. He worked out in the garage for a while but just couldn't get warm and decided to come in.
We both watched TV today in different rooms. Bruce watched the TV that is now in the living room (first time in 16 years!) and I watched the big TV in the family room while I did laundry. He watched The Last Templar and I flipped between A Very Duggar Wedding and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Tomorrow night, I get the living room and he can be downstairs.
So today, life as I know it was in one word SIMPLE. Quite a feat for me since I am usually on the go, go, go.... It was great and I hope to have more weekends like this one.
Love to all of my grandkids, Max, Maddie, Colby, Sarah and Xavier, my daughters and their husbands, Jenny and John and Leanna and Stacy and my very special husband, Bruce!!!
I had the pleasure of watching my grandkids for a few hours on Saturday while mom and dad went out. We had a great time watching ScoobyDoo2, with commentary from Colby as to what as scary and what was funny. Max asked to play with my Nintendo DS and Mario Party. I can't play the darn thing but he just jumped right in and knew wheat to do. Colby chose to watch Max play rather than play himself and Sarah sat quietly playing with her Leapster. Pizza was on the menu for dinner which they gobbled up and then it was back to the DS and Leapster until dad came to pick them up.
I was checking some emails and came across as picture of Xavier that Leanna had sent from her phone. I love getting these kind of pictures but they also tear at my heart. I miss them all so much. I see these pictures and I start to cry because I miss hearing their voices especially when Xavier would see me and say "Nana, Nana" and Maddie says "Nana, I love you."
With the cold weather, Bruce decided to stay in as well and finally put the heat vent in the ceiling in the laundry room. It made a big difference in how warm it stayed down in the family room. He worked out in the garage for a while but just couldn't get warm and decided to come in.
We both watched TV today in different rooms. Bruce watched the TV that is now in the living room (first time in 16 years!) and I watched the big TV in the family room while I did laundry. He watched The Last Templar and I flipped between A Very Duggar Wedding and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Tomorrow night, I get the living room and he can be downstairs.
So today, life as I know it was in one word SIMPLE. Quite a feat for me since I am usually on the go, go, go.... It was great and I hope to have more weekends like this one.
Love to all of my grandkids, Max, Maddie, Colby, Sarah and Xavier, my daughters and their husbands, Jenny and John and Leanna and Stacy and my very special husband, Bruce!!!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
2009
Today is January 4, 2009. I've just read a blog by my daughter and decided I should do this too. It's late and I don't have much to say but I will think about it and write something tomorrow.
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