Saying goodbye to anyone is hard but when it's your daughter and her family, it is especially hard. As much as I want her to live in MN, I know her heart is still in Houston. She likes the warmer weather, has a great in-law family and loves the culture.
This is the daughter I always knew would be the one to move away and out of MN. It doesn't make it any easier but it does help having known this. Even though I cry when they leave here or I leave Houston, I know she is happy.
They've been gone on 7 hours but I already miss the little voices in the morning asking for breakfast. I enjoyed helping them get their cereal or yogurt and granola. They eat healthy and that is something I can learn from them. Their sugar intake is limited, the eat healthy snacks and play hard.
I have a message for each of the Suarez family members:
Maddie - Do well in school. Listen to your teachers. Pay attention. Make new friends and learn lots! You and I will start to write real letters to each other. I think that will be fun and a way for us to stay connected. You are a beautiful young lady and I love you very much.
Xavier - Listen to your Mommy and Daddy. They can teach you lots of cool things so that you will be ready to go to kindergarten next year. Work really hard at being a good boy at the table and sit on your tushie like a big boy. Play, build, ride, blow bubbles, color and do lots of fun things. You look so much like your mommy and you do many of the same things she did. Remember you are a special little boy and I love you very much.
Stacy - Be a good daddy to your children. You have done a great job so far and have really good kids. Do well in your job. Support Leanna in all of her doings whether it be taking care of the kids, working outside the home or going to school. She is a treasure in your life but she will always still be my little girl. Take good care of her. Bring her to MN often.
Leanna - You will always be my little girl just as your sister is. I miss you when you are not here even though we talk often on the phone. It isn't the same because I can't just call you up and ask you to meet me at the mall, come over for dinner or chat over a drink. I want you to do well in whatever profession you choose. I want you to do well in school but at the same time enjoy what you are learning. I want to believe you will live in MN again but I think your heart is in the warmer climes of the US. If you and your family find your way back to MN at some point in your life, you will be welcomed with open arms and surrounded by a family that loves you and cares about you very much. I love you.
Yep, saying goodbye is really hard to do but sometimes it is the best thing you can do. Goodbye Leanna and family. Have a safe trip home. We will see you in the fall and we will have to say goodbye again.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
TOO MUCH ON THIS GIRL'S PLATE
I've always been an involved busy person but this last couple of months have really pushed me to my limits. I finished traveling with Bruce for his year as Grand Commander of the state of MN and I thought things would slow down. I lost my job and thought things would slow down. Leanna and kids came to visit/look for work and I thought things would so down to enjoy them. Chloe's Carnival has come and gone and I thought things would slow down. The biggest culprit? Bruce's preliminary diagnosis of testicular cancer. Things will not slow down now. There is a doctor appt to make for this week to followup on the surgery and to come up with a plan of attack. The good news in all of this is that the cancer is 97% cureable!
Right now, I wish I could give everything 100% but I can't. My first concern is with Bruce, my second with Leanna & her family and third with the Gala. Along the way I'm still worried about Jenny and her family, my mom and if I'll ever find work or just be a stay at home daycare provider for my grandson. There are just too many things on my plate that need my attention.
My plate is full and I really want to just throw it all against a wall and see what sticks. I have my days when I want to just go along my merry way and not worry about anything and then life sneaks in and I knos there is no such thing for me. It's late now and I'm still writing this blog. Ithink this is one time when I'm going to say enough and take one more thing off of this girl's plate! Good night!
Right now, I wish I could give everything 100% but I can't. My first concern is with Bruce, my second with Leanna & her family and third with the Gala. Along the way I'm still worried about Jenny and her family, my mom and if I'll ever find work or just be a stay at home daycare provider for my grandson. There are just too many things on my plate that need my attention.
My plate is full and I really want to just throw it all against a wall and see what sticks. I have my days when I want to just go along my merry way and not worry about anything and then life sneaks in and I knos there is no such thing for me. It's late now and I'm still writing this blog. Ithink this is one time when I'm going to say enough and take one more thing off of this girl's plate! Good night!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Today is Chloe's 11th birthday. She's not here to celebrate it but she's knows that I'm thinking about her. She earned her wings in December 2000 and I miss her terribly.
Chloe was my first grandchild. She was born with multiple problems, wasn't suppose to live but surprised everyone by living with us for 2 years, 4 months and 8 days. Her little brother was born 3 months after she died. None of her siblings ever met her. But, she shares a birthday with her uncle Nathan.
I called Chloe "Babydoll" and promised her I would not call any other granddaughter I may have by that name. I have kept that promise by calling my other granddaughter "Sweetie". I shared many special times with Chloe and today gives me cause to stop and reflect on some of those times.
Things I remember about Chloe - the wonderful ah-ah sound she made, the day she cried out when I removed a bandaid from her arm, the way she tugged on her eyebrow, the way she looked at her aunt Joy's wedding, the Christmas photos I had taken every year as a surprise for Jenny and John, the way she felt sitting on my lap as she got older, the way she liked to cuddle, the day we watched the Vikings game when she was in the ICC at Childrens while the game was going on just down the street and mom and dad were at the game, she "wore" her Vikings onesy. These are just a few of the memories I have of my first grandchild.
On Saturday we will hold the first ever Chloe's Carnival as part of the fundraising efforts for The Chloe T. Foundation, her namesake. Jenny and John have wanted this event to become reality but weren't sure how to go about it. I connected with the right people and Saturday is the day! The foundation gives stuffed animals to children who are hospitalized in the Twin Cities and surrounding areas.
Chloe, thank you for the privilege of serving as the Executive Director of your namesake foundation. We are trying to continue to bring joy and light to the other kids in the hospital. You aleady know how many animals have been hugged by these kids. All I want to say to you today is - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABYDOLL ! I love you!
Chloe was my first grandchild. She was born with multiple problems, wasn't suppose to live but surprised everyone by living with us for 2 years, 4 months and 8 days. Her little brother was born 3 months after she died. None of her siblings ever met her. But, she shares a birthday with her uncle Nathan.
I called Chloe "Babydoll" and promised her I would not call any other granddaughter I may have by that name. I have kept that promise by calling my other granddaughter "Sweetie". I shared many special times with Chloe and today gives me cause to stop and reflect on some of those times.
Things I remember about Chloe - the wonderful ah-ah sound she made, the day she cried out when I removed a bandaid from her arm, the way she tugged on her eyebrow, the way she looked at her aunt Joy's wedding, the Christmas photos I had taken every year as a surprise for Jenny and John, the way she felt sitting on my lap as she got older, the way she liked to cuddle, the day we watched the Vikings game when she was in the ICC at Childrens while the game was going on just down the street and mom and dad were at the game, she "wore" her Vikings onesy. These are just a few of the memories I have of my first grandchild.
On Saturday we will hold the first ever Chloe's Carnival as part of the fundraising efforts for The Chloe T. Foundation, her namesake. Jenny and John have wanted this event to become reality but weren't sure how to go about it. I connected with the right people and Saturday is the day! The foundation gives stuffed animals to children who are hospitalized in the Twin Cities and surrounding areas.
Chloe, thank you for the privilege of serving as the Executive Director of your namesake foundation. We are trying to continue to bring joy and light to the other kids in the hospital. You aleady know how many animals have been hugged by these kids. All I want to say to you today is - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABYDOLL ! I love you!
Monday, August 3, 2009
OPPOSITES AND DIFFERENCES
I have two daughters. They are as opposite as they can be. One born fair and blonde and the other dark and brunette. One has the big job, big house, great kids and a military husband. The other is looking for a job, content living in small spaces, great kids and has a Geek Squad husband. One wants perfection all the time while the other goes with the flow. How can two children made from the same parents be so different? This has been a question of mine almost since they were born.
The problem now is that their differences are causing havoc between them. Not all the time, but since last year, it has been strained. One feels things should be done a certain way and not take chances while the other takes things as they come and is willing to step out of her comfort zone. I know as adults they will have their differences but it sometimes hurts to see them unable to talk to each other because of something one said to the other; and, especially, when it was a foolish comment.
Why am I so sensitive about this? I can tell you in just a few short words. I'm an only. I didn't grow up with brothers or sisters to talk to, to play with or tell secrets to. I talked to friends at school, my grandmother or just to God. Having a sibling is something I wanted, but not sure if my mom wanted more children. As time passed, I knew it wasn't going to happen so I resigned myself to the fact and went about making friends and keeping those friends in my life.
I want my daughters to realize what a gift they have in each other. When the time comes, they will have each other to lean should something happen to me or their dad. My husband was my strength when my dad passed away, same with my grandparents. And, I can't leave out my friend, Dave who has been part of my life since I was a toddler and the closest thing I have to a brother. He's the one I can call in the middle of the night should I need him. That is the meaning of a true friend.
Girls, if you read this, please know that I love you both so much and it makes my heart hurt when you fight, don't respect each others feelings and don't talk for days. You both have wonderful families, great children and husbands who love you. These are all wonderful gifts but your first gift is to each other. I'm not saying you won't have differences, but you need to learn that it is okay to not have the same direction in life, not have the same hopes and dreams and to be different from each other whilie still loving each other with all your heart. You will always be sisters and no one can take that away from you.
There are opposites in everyone's life. Mine just happen to be the most precious gifts I have been given, my daughters Jenny and Leanna. I love you.
The problem now is that their differences are causing havoc between them. Not all the time, but since last year, it has been strained. One feels things should be done a certain way and not take chances while the other takes things as they come and is willing to step out of her comfort zone. I know as adults they will have their differences but it sometimes hurts to see them unable to talk to each other because of something one said to the other; and, especially, when it was a foolish comment.
Why am I so sensitive about this? I can tell you in just a few short words. I'm an only. I didn't grow up with brothers or sisters to talk to, to play with or tell secrets to. I talked to friends at school, my grandmother or just to God. Having a sibling is something I wanted, but not sure if my mom wanted more children. As time passed, I knew it wasn't going to happen so I resigned myself to the fact and went about making friends and keeping those friends in my life.
I want my daughters to realize what a gift they have in each other. When the time comes, they will have each other to lean should something happen to me or their dad. My husband was my strength when my dad passed away, same with my grandparents. And, I can't leave out my friend, Dave who has been part of my life since I was a toddler and the closest thing I have to a brother. He's the one I can call in the middle of the night should I need him. That is the meaning of a true friend.
Girls, if you read this, please know that I love you both so much and it makes my heart hurt when you fight, don't respect each others feelings and don't talk for days. You both have wonderful families, great children and husbands who love you. These are all wonderful gifts but your first gift is to each other. I'm not saying you won't have differences, but you need to learn that it is okay to not have the same direction in life, not have the same hopes and dreams and to be different from each other whilie still loving each other with all your heart. You will always be sisters and no one can take that away from you.
There are opposites in everyone's life. Mine just happen to be the most precious gifts I have been given, my daughters Jenny and Leanna. I love you.
SHE'S HERE
My daughter, Leanna and her two children arrived safely on Wednesday, July 29, the car was barely stopped in the driveway when out came two kids running to hug Nonna (for them I spell it this way). Leanna came up slowly as she released all the muscles in her body from the 4 hour car trip but we hugged each other tightly. I missed her so much.
Last year around this same time she came back to Minnesota in pursuit of a job, but missed her husband and decided to go back to Texas. This time she is back to look again but is prepared to stay should she be able to find a job. Armed with a webcam on the computer she and the kids can see Stacy everyday and talk to him. The only thing missing is the physical part, hugging, kissing and touching.
Today she starts her search. I hope and pray she finds something that will keep her in Minnesota. Even if only for a few years, it would be nice to have some day to day or even weekly interaction with her, her husband and my grandchildren. Good Luck Leanna!
Last year around this same time she came back to Minnesota in pursuit of a job, but missed her husband and decided to go back to Texas. This time she is back to look again but is prepared to stay should she be able to find a job. Armed with a webcam on the computer she and the kids can see Stacy everyday and talk to him. The only thing missing is the physical part, hugging, kissing and touching.
Today she starts her search. I hope and pray she finds something that will keep her in Minnesota. Even if only for a few years, it would be nice to have some day to day or even weekly interaction with her, her husband and my grandchildren. Good Luck Leanna!
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